Be the Change

A long time ago I decided, or rather it's just the way I am, to always help others whenever and however I can to make life a little easier.  I can admit it hasn’t always turned out good and it’s blown up in my face, but for every time it’s gone wrong, many times it’s gone right.  If something I did, no matter how little, made someone’s day a touch better, then I was successful.  I strived for the big improvement, but would settle for slight improvement because that gave the person renewed hope in the world and started a spark that they would pass forward. 

We all need hope that someone will be there with a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, a hug, or even a smile in reassurance that it will be ok.  Life is hard and it takes everyone working together to make it better. It shouldn’t be limited to people we know.  A lot of our worlds’ problems are because we stopped being there for our fellow man and started worrying about ourselves and those closest to us. That is important too, believe me! But, what about the single mother that lives in your neighborhood struggling with life? The elderly couple next door that never have any visitors because their family is gone? How well do we know our neighbors these days?  I’m glad that so many people help on a global scale, and believe me it is needed, but I think we forget about things a little closer to home.

Let me be clear that I am not just talking about monetary donations or giving of items to a charitable cause or buying gifts for a child in need, it’s the little everyday things.  Many of you give so generously in so many ways.   I’m talking about taking your time and offering it to someone else.  Even if it’s just simply getting up and holding the door for someone coming in the waiting room at an office.  

Let me tell you a story of what I mean:

Today as my husband and I were waiting for Hayden to get done with his therapy session, a mother came in with two boys around the same age as Hayden and both full of as much energy.  They were new here, as told by the clipboard for new patients full of forms to be filled out.  She had the one boy on a child safety tether attached to her wrist and was carrying the other boy.  She set them down to get off her coat and to detach the harness.  Immediately both boys took off for the window that looked into the main therapy room, while she sat down to fill in the forms.  Every minute the boys would come over and need something or be doing something they shouldn’t.  After about 5 minutes the oldest boy noticed my husband and me.  I was researching ideas on Pinterest for Hayden with a Kindle.  The boy immediately wanted to “play”.  His mother told him he couldn’t and I looked up and told her it was ok with me with a reassuring smile.  The relief on her face said it all.  The older boy sat with me for the remaining 20 minutes playing around on a game I play and the younger brother joined as well.  The mother could finish the paperwork, go out to the reception desk and get settled before they had to go back.  She thanked me over and over and all I said was, “I’ve been here and if I can help you out, I will do it.” 

There have been times, particularly since Hayden was born, where I could have used that same kindness towards myself when I’ve been out.  I am amazed at those quick to judge and the disapproving looks as someone struggles.  As Hayden has gotten older and his tantruming got worse, the looks and whispered words were more.  In the beginning, we didn’t know why he tantrumed like he did, but now we do.  I could have used someone stepping in and telling me I’m doing fine and to keep going.  Even a reassuring smile, instead I felt judged, a lot! I never would want someone else feeling that way and it made this mission I’ve been on that much more important. 

I’m reminded of a quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world”.  It is my mantra a lot of times.  As well as a great line from a wonderful Disney movie (I am an avid fan of Disney), Mulan, “A single grain of rice can tip the scale.  One man can be the difference between victory or defeat.”  While the emperor was talking about getting soldiers for physical war, I’m talking about emotional war.  Be the difference for someone today.  This time of year, especially, is difficult on so many and your encouraging words or deeds could change a person’s life. 

                                                                                                                                                                                Always,

                                                                                                                                                                                Sheri