The "BE THE CHANGE" Movement

We’re going to take a small break tonight from the normal and take a closer look as to what I mean when I say, “be the change”.   Be prepared this is a slightly longer post tonight, but worth a read, trust me.

Every day we each have infinite interactions with other people – family, friends and strangers.  Take a moment and think about how many people you interacted with today.  If I had to guess, it was more than 20.  I know for me it was probably over 50 and not every interaction was positive.  I can admit that freely.  What if we made each interaction positive – in one day, I would have impacted 50 people’s lives for them to maybe go and impact 50 more.  This positivity and being the change would spread like wildfire.  We would start to see more positivity coming out of this world than what we see now.  We could create a better world for our children/grandchildren and turn things around, but it must start somewhere. 

Let’s take an example from my day and I’ll show you where I would have tried to “be the change”.  I believe that by sharing with you a part of my life, it’s much more personable and relatable.  Also, this will be a little PSA on how to react to parents with an upset child, special needs or not. 

My husband and I went out today to do some last-minute Christmas shopping for each other – nothing expensive, but we hadn’t gotten each other anything.  We had Hayden along and he was very ornery today.  Nothing seemed to make him happy and it was compounded by his inability to communicate effectively.  As we went through different stores, he would start screaming loudly each time we stopped.  He has been doing this lately at Walmart (lately I’ve felt like doing that too – see more opportunity to “be the change”), but nowhere else, so I’m familiar with it.  The thing is the only way to combat it with him is to ignore it.  When he starts, I take a step back from the cart and turn my body slightly, until he calms down.  I always state that we don’t communicate that way and please calmly let me know what he would like.  Of course, I make sure we aren’t in the middle of the aisle or anything.  His response, like any child, is to get louder and start kicking his legs.  You can imagine the looks I get as this is happening.  Again, I stress that the only way to break him of this is to let me know I won’t pay attention and even though he doesn’t want to do this right now, this is what we are doing.  Most times he will calm down and we continue, until it happens again.  It’s a cycle that we are breaking. 

What am I asking from you? Please don’t be one of those individuals whose head snaps over to where a child is screaming and then give a disapproving look.  Believe me, it’s hard enough on the parents to try and tackle the situation without the looks.  For me, a small smile of encouragement would mean the world.  Even a look of “I’ve been there before” would suffice.  Until I became a parent, I’m sure on occasion I was one of these individuals, so now I want to offer some advice to those who are like I use to be.  Parenting is hard.  It’s one of the hardest things you will ever do, but it is the most rewarding! Offer that parent with the upset child your encouragement and not judgement.  You never know what is the underlying issue and you could alleviate an already tough situation.    

We never figured out Hayden’s issue today.  I think he was hangry – a very strong trait from my side of the family.  However, he was offered different things and didn’t want any of them.  He may just be tired of sitting or being out. I’ll never know.  Once we were in the car, listening to Rammstein (his new favorite), he was rockin’ out and smiling.  Children are mysteries a lot of the time.  I’ll never understand 😊

Tonight, I want to ask all of you to do me a favor – go out as soon as you read this, or the earliest opportunity, and do something good for someone else.  Let’s make “be the change” a movement.  After you’ve done something, post about it on Facebook, this blog, somewhere what you did with #bethechange.  Right now, we may be a small group of people, but, as I stated in a previous post, “one grain of rice can tip the scale”.

BE THE CHANGE!

                                                                                                                                Always,

                                                                                                                                Sheri

Stronger than you know

How is it less than 5 days before Christmas? Where did the time go? I am no where near ready for Christmas, but I’m not even stressed about it.  There are things I would like to get done, but at this point it won’t make or break Christmas.   I plan over the next few days to get done what I can and then enjoy a weekend with family.  We’ll be celebrating my grandmother’s 90^th birthday this past Tuesday, my cousin and his wife’s pregnancy, being together for the holidays.  As it goes, not all of our family will be there, but they are always there in spirit. 

My hope for the next 5 days is that Hayden will be able to handle all the changes in schedule, travelling, and noise.  I have a lot of hope for him.  He’s shown immense improvement over the last few months.  A great example is today.  We had lunch with my mom at McDonald’s.  Normally we have difficulty getting Hayden to stay seated; unless he’s blocked in by one of us in a bench seat or in a high chair.  The McDonald’s where we live has open bench seats, cafeteria style.  They do have a few bench seats, but of course they were taken.  We decided to try having him sit in the open bench seats.  He rocked it! He had several opportunities to get up, but he stayed seated.  I was such a proud momma! He sat and ate his meal and even when he was done, he waited for the rest of us.  A few months ago, he would have had to sit in the high chair or one of us chase him. 

He’s learning so fast lately.  It shows me that he’s comprehending what we are teaching him.  If we could just get him to talk, but it’s baby steps right now.  This whole process has taught me to be a lot more patient, which, if you know me, you know patient is a virtue I do not possess!

Anyway, there are moments where he makes a huge accomplishment and then we take a step back with his speech.  However, if you know him, you know he gets whatever you are saying and knows what you are talking about.  You can see it in his eyes.  I know God has great things planned for this child and I just hope He continues to give me the strength to keep the faith and stay strong for this little man.  I never knew how hard life could be or how helpless I would feel. 

If any of you out there are in a similar situation or are just feeling helpless, let me be there for you.  Feel free to reach out to me.  Air your concerns to get them off your chest.  It really does help.  We’ve all got something going on.  I will tell you that no matter what it is, it’ll show you that you are strong.  Stronger than you know.  This is your defining moment.  Stand up and face it head on with dignity, respect and truth and nothing will stop you.  I believe in you.  Be the change!

                                                                                                                                                                Always,

                                                                                                                                                                Sheri

Only One Would Survive

I always say to never make a plan because it will never go how you thought.  A prime example is my blog posts this week.  My intention was to post every day, my reality was far from that dream.  A slight finger injury, a husband in the midst of finals week and his need for the computer (we only have one) and a 3-yr-old with an abundance of energy changed my week in a hurry.  While I promised you a blog on Steak Fajitas, I’ll be postponing it for tonight. 

Tonight’s post will be a continuation of sorts of the previous post.  Last time I discussed what this time of year means to me and the heaps of traditions associated with it.  Over the past few days I’ve been reveling in experiencing this magical season through my son’s eyes and world.  He has not disappointed with his wonder, joy, curiosity, etc.  Also, and most importantly, he has taken things in perfect stride – all new experiences, changes in schedule, riding around running errands, sitting for long periods and the like.  I believe that we were home for 1 hour yesterday due to therapy appointments, play groups, meeting family for lunch and grocery shopping.  Hayden attended to what he needed to and waited patiently through the rest.  For a child on the spectrum, this is an amazing feat.  I have always said, Hayden is your atypical autistic child.  I won’t delve too far into this, but I hope other the course of time, you will come to see what I mean.  However, here is a wonderful example – tonight his TSS and I put together a gingerbread train and Hayden was right in there. 

Many autistic kiddos have sensory issues of one type or another.  Different textures are often something they cannot handle.  Hayden on the other hand loves to experience everything his senses offer.  When we first started putting the train together, he wasn’t interested, but to come and steal some gum drops.  

Once we were almost completely decorated, he decided to check out what we were doing.  Hayden has to enter into something freely, which is a skill we are working on, since we all must do things we don’t want to do and sometimes are not free to say no.  This time he came over on his own accord.  He started by moving the snowflake sprinkles, a few hard candies and by the end had cleared most of the train of its icing and candy.  The only part he ever tasted was the icing, but he made sure to get it all! I hope as the years go by, this will be a tradition we do together (without him undecorating it, of course 😊) 

I hadn’t planned for him to undecorate the train, but in the end, he had a ton of fun and that is what MATTERS! My plan for a cute little gingerbread engine and caboose to display throughout the season went out the window.  I am completely ok with this because of the fun Hayden had undecorating the train. 

A very wise woman (she was Hayden’s coordinator in the Early Intervention program before he got too old) said, “Messy play is how they (children) learn.  Let them be messy.”  I have never forgotten those words and have found out the essence of their truth.  Hayden learns the most when he can experience it and do it himself, his way.  Sure, he sometimes makes some mistakes, but that is part of life.  We all do it.  Life is about trial and error and going your own way.  Kids get this a lot quicker than we do, but it gets discouraged and then lost.  Let them explore and fail and then re-explore and succeed.  Let them discover the world their way.  Let go a little bit and know that even though you planned things one way, maybe the way they turned out was much better than what you expected.

With those words, I am off to rest, always be the change! Please enjoy the pictures and video of tonight’s exploration into the world of gingerbread.

                                                                                                                                                                                Always

                                                                                                                                                                                Sheri

                                        Before complete destruction, but after mild destruction :-)