A Phoenix Rising from the Ashes

I’m back after a wonderful break with my family for Christmas.  I hope each of you enjoyed time with your friends and family over Christmas and New Year’s.  We have done quite a bit of travelling since my last post and we aren’t done yet.  We leave for New Mexico for two weeks in less than a week.  I plan to enjoy every moment, as I did this last 10 days.  

Today marks the start of a new year and for some a new chapter in their lives. Some will be making resolutions, others not.  This time of the year is about reflection.  Where were you last year at this time? Did you make progress? If not, what can you change going forward? If you did make progress, what’s next?  Life is not meant to be lived holding still.  In order to become our best self, we must be constantly improving and learning, no matter how small. 

I have had a lot to reflect on my year over this last few days.  The last year has seen more downs than ups, but I feel at peace.  Things had to go the way they did so that my family could, pardon the cliché, be like the phoenix and rise from the ashes anew.  I know what direction I am headed and what I needed to do to get there.  It won’t be easy.  In fact, this year will see downs that will outnumber the ups as well, but not as many as the last.

 I’m in a regrouping part of my life.  I had a plan for the way I wanted thinks to go.  You know what they say, “You want to make God laugh, show Him your plans.”  I touched on this a few posts ago, so we won’t rehash it.  My point is to keep going.  You may have been knocked down and it’s ok to be down and sad, but don’t build a tent and live there.  It can be incredibly difficult to rise back up, but you can do it. 

I can remember how I was last year.   We were about 2 months in to Hayden’s ASD diagnosis, a month into speech therapy, seeing 2 in-home therapists twice a week, a month away from him starting Pre-K (which entailed many more evaluations) and me spending countless hours on the phone looking for a mobile therapist.  Plus, I was prepping for Hayden’s 3^rd birthday in a month.  I don’t know how I did any of it.  I had a lot of support and that’s what it comes down to.  No one could walk this walk for me, but many people were there encouraging me.  If for some reason you don’t have someone to encourage you, reach out to me.  I may not be able to understand what you have going on, but I can be your cheering section and sound board. 

I am now off to bed.  I have a lot to accomplish before we leave for New Mexico.  I can’t promise I’ll post a lot when we are there, but I will try to post more over the next week. 

I wish you all the best in 2018.  May you find joy in your sorrows, a smile after the rain and courage to know when the battle is lost, you can still win the war.  Peace and blessings to you all! Be the change!

The "BE THE CHANGE" Movement

We’re going to take a small break tonight from the normal and take a closer look as to what I mean when I say, “be the change”.   Be prepared this is a slightly longer post tonight, but worth a read, trust me.

Every day we each have infinite interactions with other people – family, friends and strangers.  Take a moment and think about how many people you interacted with today.  If I had to guess, it was more than 20.  I know for me it was probably over 50 and not every interaction was positive.  I can admit that freely.  What if we made each interaction positive – in one day, I would have impacted 50 people’s lives for them to maybe go and impact 50 more.  This positivity and being the change would spread like wildfire.  We would start to see more positivity coming out of this world than what we see now.  We could create a better world for our children/grandchildren and turn things around, but it must start somewhere. 

Let’s take an example from my day and I’ll show you where I would have tried to “be the change”.  I believe that by sharing with you a part of my life, it’s much more personable and relatable.  Also, this will be a little PSA on how to react to parents with an upset child, special needs or not. 

My husband and I went out today to do some last-minute Christmas shopping for each other – nothing expensive, but we hadn’t gotten each other anything.  We had Hayden along and he was very ornery today.  Nothing seemed to make him happy and it was compounded by his inability to communicate effectively.  As we went through different stores, he would start screaming loudly each time we stopped.  He has been doing this lately at Walmart (lately I’ve felt like doing that too – see more opportunity to “be the change”), but nowhere else, so I’m familiar with it.  The thing is the only way to combat it with him is to ignore it.  When he starts, I take a step back from the cart and turn my body slightly, until he calms down.  I always state that we don’t communicate that way and please calmly let me know what he would like.  Of course, I make sure we aren’t in the middle of the aisle or anything.  His response, like any child, is to get louder and start kicking his legs.  You can imagine the looks I get as this is happening.  Again, I stress that the only way to break him of this is to let me know I won’t pay attention and even though he doesn’t want to do this right now, this is what we are doing.  Most times he will calm down and we continue, until it happens again.  It’s a cycle that we are breaking. 

What am I asking from you? Please don’t be one of those individuals whose head snaps over to where a child is screaming and then give a disapproving look.  Believe me, it’s hard enough on the parents to try and tackle the situation without the looks.  For me, a small smile of encouragement would mean the world.  Even a look of “I’ve been there before” would suffice.  Until I became a parent, I’m sure on occasion I was one of these individuals, so now I want to offer some advice to those who are like I use to be.  Parenting is hard.  It’s one of the hardest things you will ever do, but it is the most rewarding! Offer that parent with the upset child your encouragement and not judgement.  You never know what is the underlying issue and you could alleviate an already tough situation.    

We never figured out Hayden’s issue today.  I think he was hangry – a very strong trait from my side of the family.  However, he was offered different things and didn’t want any of them.  He may just be tired of sitting or being out. I’ll never know.  Once we were in the car, listening to Rammstein (his new favorite), he was rockin’ out and smiling.  Children are mysteries a lot of the time.  I’ll never understand 😊

Tonight, I want to ask all of you to do me a favor – go out as soon as you read this, or the earliest opportunity, and do something good for someone else.  Let’s make “be the change” a movement.  After you’ve done something, post about it on Facebook, this blog, somewhere what you did with #bethechange.  Right now, we may be a small group of people, but, as I stated in a previous post, “one grain of rice can tip the scale”.

BE THE CHANGE!

                                                                                                                                Always,

                                                                                                                                Sheri

Stronger than you know

How is it less than 5 days before Christmas? Where did the time go? I am no where near ready for Christmas, but I’m not even stressed about it.  There are things I would like to get done, but at this point it won’t make or break Christmas.   I plan over the next few days to get done what I can and then enjoy a weekend with family.  We’ll be celebrating my grandmother’s 90^th birthday this past Tuesday, my cousin and his wife’s pregnancy, being together for the holidays.  As it goes, not all of our family will be there, but they are always there in spirit. 

My hope for the next 5 days is that Hayden will be able to handle all the changes in schedule, travelling, and noise.  I have a lot of hope for him.  He’s shown immense improvement over the last few months.  A great example is today.  We had lunch with my mom at McDonald’s.  Normally we have difficulty getting Hayden to stay seated; unless he’s blocked in by one of us in a bench seat or in a high chair.  The McDonald’s where we live has open bench seats, cafeteria style.  They do have a few bench seats, but of course they were taken.  We decided to try having him sit in the open bench seats.  He rocked it! He had several opportunities to get up, but he stayed seated.  I was such a proud momma! He sat and ate his meal and even when he was done, he waited for the rest of us.  A few months ago, he would have had to sit in the high chair or one of us chase him. 

He’s learning so fast lately.  It shows me that he’s comprehending what we are teaching him.  If we could just get him to talk, but it’s baby steps right now.  This whole process has taught me to be a lot more patient, which, if you know me, you know patient is a virtue I do not possess!

Anyway, there are moments where he makes a huge accomplishment and then we take a step back with his speech.  However, if you know him, you know he gets whatever you are saying and knows what you are talking about.  You can see it in his eyes.  I know God has great things planned for this child and I just hope He continues to give me the strength to keep the faith and stay strong for this little man.  I never knew how hard life could be or how helpless I would feel. 

If any of you out there are in a similar situation or are just feeling helpless, let me be there for you.  Feel free to reach out to me.  Air your concerns to get them off your chest.  It really does help.  We’ve all got something going on.  I will tell you that no matter what it is, it’ll show you that you are strong.  Stronger than you know.  This is your defining moment.  Stand up and face it head on with dignity, respect and truth and nothing will stop you.  I believe in you.  Be the change!

                                                                                                                                                                Always,

                                                                                                                                                                Sheri